the  well actually so long i didn blog adi...so yeah jus blog sumtin to fill my boredness..lol
actually this thing keep bothering me for some time!! especially after a farewell party..
cos suddenly a friend show up and that friend i alwis use to look up to..he is like a
role model in my life but everything change since he left us all..i dunno the real reason why
did he backlide..men, i tell you when at the party i saw him well... he was still cool and hot
but he is not a Godly and passionate for God guy i use to know everyting seems to change..

      He is a guy full of conviction...and his testimoni was really cool it could change lives
too..but i still sumtimes wonder why a guy full of conviction and super passionate bout God
could just fall like this so easily??you look if a guy with full of conviction, who is super
crazy for God could jus fall then how bout me? i am not as strong as he is...i am jus like
hanging on the edges..i could fall anitime!!
       
       it really burden my heart to see this things happen!! its like now i lost a role model
or so called a hero in my life whom i use to really look up to and whom i really admire his
character!!maybe his foundation wasnt strong in God...well i really duno but well i am still
really sad.. i duno how to pray for him!! though i do still pray( sumtimes it feels like iam
out of words to pray and keeps reapeatin da same word)

         i still remember clearly most of the things he uses to thaught us all durin youth!!
lots of stuff he taught really does an impact in my life!men, i really do misses all the times
when he was still in our youth..i really do hope sumtimes he will come back just like before
the passionate for God guy!!

         well jus a week or two ago one of my cg member told me that she saw him sumwhere..
and he is smoking.. when i heard this..it feels like a sharp pierce in my heart!! how could he
doo this??even the cg member came and ask me why did this happen to him??how am i suppose to
answer them??it really hard sumtimes..
          
         know wut?? i use to deny that he wasn a christian animore..i alwis said to myself
that he is commin back, that he is only takin a rest or a break..but i cant stay in denail
much longer i hafto accept the fact that he is not a christian animore...i really do have to
pray for him!!
 

      kl emerge is cool and awesome..espeially da sermon..men, i wish my parents or adults who
are out of shape and always comment bout the ways of youth dresses should be there..lol..JK
today's sermon was bout be fasionable,cool,keep fit, exercise and shine for God.
 
      Inward beauty are important but outward beauty are also important. You need to hav both to
shine for God. u cant only have inner beauty but outer beauty are zero..u also cant have
outter beauty but inner self are like rotten eggs.. both are equally important.. christians are
cool cos our God are cool tooo..so christians dress cool, up to date,exercise and keep fit..
(ouch! i hav to eat my own word) well, mayb u guys will says that though men look at appreance
but God looks at heart..well its right!!but jus too bad cos humans are not God..they cant see
your heart.
    
       God's purpose for you on this earth is to win the lost but u cant win them unless u
dress lik them..if u are outdated, old fasion, belly ozzing out,bad odors how are you gonna
win young peeps to the Lord?? the will flee before you are near...lol so dress cool and funky
cos our God is cool,awesome,ful of colour..
     

                Pr.kong when on sayin that he dresses wuteve he likes.He dosent hav to show off that
he is a pastor, lik wearin a tie, formal clothes..jus look how casual he wears.. though i know this
u cant really apply in dumc!!haha.. niway he when on..sayin one time he was in a shopin complex
and a church member came up to greet him"hi pastor" and then later a passer by came up to him
and say "u r pastor ah??" so now u get wut i mean? ppl view on pr are old fasion, cannot dye hair,
cannot look cool or wut so ever!
      
     its ok to be vain..cos even in the bible Joseph is vain and eshter is also vain!!
eshter go through lots of beauty treatment b4 she  meet the king and b4 the king choose
her..Joseph do facial & make ups!!wut a meterosexual!but who cares he work for God and his glory.. eventhough
he wears snakes simbols who cares?he have to be like an egyptian to communicate with them
he hav to follow their culture..same as us we hav to wear wut the world wears to communicate
with the world..for example how are you going to communicate wit an ant if u yourself is
not an ant?

        
       so actually wutever u wanna dress..its ok...wear skull,snake,dragon..dress like the
world but just dont follow the ways of the world..being a child of God dosen mean you haf to
wear long sleeve,long pants,no torn clothes..OMG this is so pharisees!!
        
          you also hav to exercise and keep yourself fit and exercise to work for God.
I mean how r u gonna work for God if ur body is weak?and not healty?u have to keep ur
foundation strong, ur spirit men strong and u have to keep ur body strong!! So wut if your
foundation is strong but ur body is weak and u have obesiti??u will die early and u did nothing
for God.so stay healthy, eat the right food and exercise!
            
     ps. not goin against dbs in dbs u hav to follow the rules..cos it trains u to be nore
     discpline and become more lik Jesus disciples

-praise-
      -this jus a part of wut pr.kong preach!

                  mood:

music of the day: ironic   

          Today i didn go to school for merentas desa..cos..got some reason la..niway me and some of my classmates wan to go pyramid cos we got some so called drama stuff to discuss..so we promised to meet up at pyramid at 1pm..then when i was walkin to pyramid..sigh* hiyo i dunno how to tell la super embrrassing men!!! er...ok i fell and my jean terkena mud..my gosh.. so embarrassing men..somore got kinda lot of passer by..niway forget bout it..but can say today was a bad day for me cos i realize when i wipe out the mud still got stains...oooo no..my fav.jean..if i kno i shoudn where this jean..

            bout my freinds, well i thought promise is a promise so i jus went in to pyramid to wait for my friends...i waited for bout 45min and they haven come yet ...ooo gosh..with my stained jean waiting for them...and they didn turn up...ish...so i walk home on the way i saw my scoolmates aka gangsters...  but i know them and they also kno me la...then when i was walkin home sudenly raining...ooo my gosh wut is happenin to me today?? everythin didn turn out rite..or my way...sigh*..

             plus at nite when one of my friend wanted to come to download songs to mp3 so i let..although i know my dad will scold if he knows cos..he say u cant take amy thing from ur friends( cds,disket,mp3....) to insert into the computer but i didn obey la...mayb thats my punishment...cos my comp suddenly alwis hang...then when i restart the comp everything is lost...is like everything the only thing is left is the background the start button and destop stuff is lost...i was so freak out that i criedla...then i prayed over my computer...then THANK GOD everything when back to normal..lol...so "friend" i cant let u download music from my computer anymore..sorry..maybe wut ur brother says is correct and wut my dad says also... so, sorry i cant help ...

                mood :      

song of the day :shut up

       well i went to tuition today knowing i sure kena marah wan..cos i didn pass up my add math book.. but hey!! its not my fault... i didn go to tuition last sat cos got sumtin on...so i didn pass up la..but when i want to pass up today then he give back the book adi... so i was like hiya...nvm la....pass up next round..then half way he was teaching then he scold me..."praise y u didn pass up ur book?? u send by post isit??and on and on...then he scold other ppl doing rubbish and giving him rubbish hw to mark and that we spoil his fav. subject to teach...kononnya....i mean hellolaaa... some people is not as smart as u la.. we are students and u are teacher how can u compare?? we are still learning and have tried our best...but he still go on scolding...

          Like last week, he complain to my dad( my dad and him are friends) that i got all wrong for add math but i didn..and he say i am lazy didn do my work..but i did... i pay attention in class and did his work...how can he do this to me?? is like purposly want my dad to scold me!!okla nevermind that one pass adi dun talk bout it ...but wut bout today?? and the next lesson with him again??he keep going on complainin bout us...jus sounded like we are so stupid and that he is so good and smart..he has done a good job....and he is a good teacher ( thats wut he say )...and that people who work dun think bout education or sumtin like that...we jus tink bout money... hello sir, when we work wut for think bout education u are already out of skul life..unless u wanna be a teacher la...like me i wanna studi law... so i will think of solving cases...tak akan when i work i still wanna take out add math and do...and of corse think bout money la...although money is not everything but still no one can live in this world without money... although for christians we depend on God to provide our needs...

      niway hiya dunwanna talk ani more forget bout it..i jus kno wut will happen adi.. he is going to tell my dad " your daughter so lazy, didn pass up her work... she send by post issit??..." ahh...jus...forget bout it..

praise forgive him for he did not know wut he is doing..and he is not a christian,, you as a christian need to forgive..cos God forgives u...( advice to myself)

                mood:       

song of the day: weight of the world

       i  was talking to God 2 days ago after i talk to Joel.At first i wasnt willing to spent time with God cos there isnt anything to say cos i am totally lost but i did anyway.I thought  well jus talk la tell God wut am i going through..my pain and all and want to say sorry cos i can live up to God's will for me.

            then i when in my room and i saw my devotional book on the bed so i jus flip through what is the topic for today i didn expect anything...but i know i was so dissapointed with myself...and the topic was Seeking Jesus.I know that was the topic for me cos i know i am lost and i need to seek Jesus. Peter a disciple of God wasnt perfect he even denied Jesus but at last he become more faithful discipe of God.suddenly, sumthing hit me and it was this verse Jer 29:13.at first i hardend my heart but at last i really have to give in cos i know i need Jesus in my life.

                i was talking to God about the problems i am going through and till it was to the point i told God i wanted to give up being a christian when i say that i started to weep i dunno why...then there are some fleshback of how God has touch and change my life..when i was crying God spoke to me.. He says" I love you and I have save you dont list out reason that you should give up.you been trying too hard to live up to my will by your own strength and that makes u tired and feel like giving up u are carrying heavy loads on ur back..put it down and follow me..just rely on me cos i am always here for you i wont let you go.. and never will let you go".

                  when troubles come i trust in you,

                   know you will lead me through,

                    and i know that you are faithful till the end...

                    and when the storms are drawing near,

                     for you are with me i dun have to fear

                     you're my shepherd to whom i can depend...

                       through the days,through the night

                      i know your always by my side.....

                      Lord you're always here with me

                      there is no changing God in thee

                      you are the same yesterday and today

                       and forever more......

                       here on your promises i stand

                       you hold my future in yor hands

                        my solid rock Almigty God i worship you.....

            mood:     

song of the day :untitled 

          sigh..i am really dissapoited with myself maybe if u read this also u will be dissapointed wit me. 
U kno rite that by doing qt it dosent mean u love GOd...u have ti actually give whole heartly while doing qt..and i find it real hard.i duno y...but at first i was consicturn wit my qt until recenly when i fall sick i didn do and until now i also didn do. its not that i dun wanna do but my heart is not there and i felt like a hypocrite lying to GOd..its like doing qt lik doing a daily routine.

           I dun wanna keep lying to God or myself i know that i am totaly lost.And i dunno how to start back normal. every time i go to church i felt notthing..i dont really listen to wut pastor preach cos i was busy writting stuff. then when worshipping i jus sing along but insde i felt like a hypocrite I AM SINGING LIES....sometimes voices will come to my head saying do i mean wut i sing?i dunno la i am so confused...sometimes i wonder am i really a christian or not..if i am a christian y i didn live like i am a christian?sometimes i even wonder wut someppl say is true...that we are all hypocrites.. sigh...

           i dont even know where am i putting GOd now in my life.Mayb God is not even the second in my life...i am just tellin the truth.I just felt like i am hangin on the edge i felt like i am gong to fall.sometimes i felt lik givin up on livin a fake life..jus like wut someppl is doing but I dun wanna end up like them.sigh...i use to hav lots of passion on wut God is going to do in my life future...but now i just lost it all...i dont even wuts GOd's plan for me and my future... i dont even know wuts God's purpose for me... sigh..i am just tired of lying its jus not myself

               mood : 

song of the day:one day

     always wonder why but i cant figure out...why my mum nag so much?? today i kena nag kau..kau men... is like i go everywhere i will hear her nag..OMG.. i am going nuts..its like abit mistake she will nag non stop until unless she is tired..maybe i should bring her a glass of water everytime she starts to nag..i wonder y woman nag so much although i am a girl i still dunno the answer...lol..maybe they are created to be that way. it is so sickening men,i go downstairs i hear her nag bout sumthing when i am in my computer room, she comes in and starts to nag..sigh.. i am like a mangsa to her nagging.. i say sorie and she will goes everytime sorie,sorie but do nothing bout it...and on and on...well wut to do??i cant do anything bout it.. all i could do i just shut up..the more i talk or argue back the more she will nag.. niway i jus saw a video clip that is so gross.. the alien who look like baby..omg..eww.. it real want..seriously men i cant get it out my head  http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1138996644/Alien_Look_A_Like_Baby  .. c for your self

            mood : 

song of th day: Choose life

 well xyz camp is realy cool.its really superb i dunno how to describe it unless you are there yourself.haha...well its really tiring cos we slept late and have to wake up early but well its worth it cos i gain lots there plus i have lots of fun..yeah!!

       well on the first day we have games.it was cool...really fun and actually a chance for me to exercise cos i dont exercise haha...then later we have to rush back to bath and eat then hear come the interesting part ..sessions yeah..session 1 was about r u sound???? it bout reason and purpose for our existence..why do we even exist??to live for God and his purpose for our lives.to have a relationship with the living God.then we also learn bout anatomy of a Sound Generation person.firstily we have to have a guarded heart --> proverbs 4:23,sounded mind-->job34:2 ,hands that moves--> col.1:10 ,bended knees --> 1co2:10 and a wise and swift feet --> 2tim2:22. 

        on the second day,the session 2 was welcome to the jungle  - we learn bout media..how much time do we spend on the media??hah..i was so shock when i realize how much time i spend..lol(i wont tell u)..wut does media do?? the media bring ppl together, the media control your enviroment, it helps you to experss yourself and it also tear down wall that separates us from other ppl..how can we contol how much the media influence us??well you have to look out for the obvious message and hidden message in wut you are seeing or hearing..set a media standard..set a protective boundaries in areas where you're prone to temptation, sacrifice(its the hardest thing to do but no pain no gain riite??)..then after the session we have drama its cool cos i love the song..haha..ok now session three we learn bout truth..whats the truth,truth of the media..media can influence young viewers attitude,behaviour.it also influence our mood and emotions.its interesting that most ppl believe that a link exists between media and actual behaviour. these are the 4 no-nos thing we shoul never watch..blasphemous movis, occoult movies, sick movies,and sex movies..then wut bout the gray ones??( not so bad wan..)..well i depends on individuals.. to some individuals its ok but to some it may not..exampe..to some who are horney they fantasise or imagene deeper than what they see on screen and it effects them.

 well,actually there lots more but its too much and i am really lazy to write all down.. but jus to tell you all that media does influence ppl it may be in a gud way or a bad way...although i use to think that media dosen efect me but now i realise how much it does...so be careful on wut u watch....and listen!!

                mood :

 song of the day :-

  well at first i didnt want to participate in giving for dream centre cos i thought thats the job for only those who are working cos sumone like me only got pocket money and not enough to spent so i though bout may be give a little or when i have money to but my ex-cg leader he was so passionate bout giving for dream centre and his passion convicted me. So i give half of my allowence my heartache and i was like "oo no here goes my money now i am broke"but anyway i give cos i want mor blessing and plus i wanna participate in this cos this opporcunity wont alwis come and it is a good way of spending my money at least i could invest for my generation and generation to come so that they could use the dream centre( if by that time Jesus haven return)haha...Dream Centre is coming to a pass and i believe it will.

       ok..second part well then i was giving every month then came to a time where God spoke to me when i pray for dream centre he ask me "are you doing anything bout the dream centre?" i was like well i did participate.but its not enough not like people who sell their car or houses..although i couldn sell my house duh..but God ask me to give all my allowance..at that time i was like "wut????" <super shock> at last i was like "okay Lord i will give but wut bout all my needs and wut bout da coming christmas i need to buy prezzie and shop alot" but God says " i will meet your needs you dont have to worry only obey and i will provide everything and bless you more"  but i still doubt but anyway i agree.

        so i give and give finally planet shakers conf. i was complaining that i am broke and i dunno wut to do and i couldn enjoy cos i was broke thats wut i thought. But as God say he will provide. So well i have more than enough during planet shakers..not only i could have lunch and dinner but i could buy the evermore cd+dvd ,Music Book and planet shakers tshirt actually i was broke but on the first night of PS God ask me to giv so i give and God eventually bless me in return and on the last day i still have some money though of buying cds but God say NO. i want you to give during tithe and offering becos they were talking bout giving. so i gave all that i have.My heart felt like breaking again cos christmas is near plus i still owe God for da dream centre.tis time i really got no money cos i empty my purse except some coins.but God told me the same thing he say he will provide.so,okla i give.

           After PS,day to day i was complanin to God i am broke and i still owe you wut to do?? then i say God you ask me to give and i give now  i got no money so u must provide this time..actually i was kinda worried bout it but God say i will provide but still nothing happen by this time it was dec. i was like oh no.. i wish i didn listen to God..mayb i heard th wrong voice ...on and on but now how??

               niway God is alwis gud all the time.. and he will alwis provide. So that time i was having a sleep over so my mother and dad give money my dad thought i wont have enough so he give me more..lol..haha...i didn spend on anything so actually i can give the money back to GOd..and through all the few month actually i really thank God that i could survive being broke cos God provide for me all my needs..its soo coool..although now da collection for dream centre is bout 7million plus and our target is 25million by end of tis year, i believe and have faith  that God wil provide our needs plus sumore the dream centre will also belong to God of corse he will provide.So give..give and give!!!and see God's blessing pouring like the rain...amen!!yeah!!